There once was an inmate named Michael
Not a bone in his body was spiteful
His bro was gonna die but he didn’t cry
He headed to the bank with his rifle (OK pistol)
He landed in jail with a plan
And tattoos with the lay of the land
He was doing his time for his purposeful crime
and then T-bag showed up just like BAM!
Now Michael, he’s not into dudes
But he figured he had nothing to lose
Cuz T-bag is fine and he takes his time
and his bitches say he’ll even use lube
He figured he’d play hard to get
And make sexy Theodore sweat
but one day in the shower, his ass was deflowered
When a peen and an asshole they met
The sex was so good he saw stars
it was just like playing bumper cars
Now his eyes are all screwy and his sight went kerplooey
and he just loves it behind bars
At his appearance they secretly hiss
All the inmates are taking the piss
Michael broke his ass out, got captured en-route
and all Linc does is stand there like this
HERE
33 Comments
June 4, 2007 at 10:30 pm
OMG …LMAO…”Now his eyes are all screwy and his sight went kerplooey”… Genius! Just Genius!
June 4, 2007 at 10:50 pm
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*you wanna do it in my butt, in my butt*
Please tell me The Adventures of Cockeye is gonna become a regular series/category…
June 4, 2007 at 11:08 pm
I waaaaaaant one !!!
–Do they come in blow up dolls?
June 4, 2007 at 11:10 pm
Action figures!
Well fuck me!
June 4, 2007 at 11:49 pm
Not bad likeness for Action Figures, at least they tried.
The eyes are a bit screwy and what colour are they?
Anyone know if the tat is under the shirt?, or if he’s anatomically correct??
Superb rhyme WFW, where do you find the time?
June 5, 2007 at 12:13 am
WFW, dude, seriously, why aren’t you writing for real? This is gold!
sprcow 11.49 “… if he’s anatomically correct?” LMAO! Talk about asking the right questions.
Man, I haven’t wanted to undress an action figure since my parents got me a Ken doll for my Barbie.
Ahh, the memories of simulating sex with plastic toys …
June 5, 2007 at 12:20 am
I guess now we know why he’s cockeyed !!
June 5, 2007 at 12:52 am
WFW ….girl you are in fine form again….love the new layout.
June 5, 2007 at 1:22 am
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! genius i tell you, genius!
June 5, 2007 at 3:07 am
very well done! love the poem
June 5, 2007 at 3:19 am
omg that was funny . RIght on WFW…if went came as a blow up doll ,wouldn’t matter the price that plastic figure would be mind to fuck lol..
June 5, 2007 at 4:24 am
Hahahahahahahahaha!
Welcome back, WFW! This totally made my day.
Bel
June 5, 2007 at 5:02 am
WFW, there is a soul of a poet inside of you. I loved it!
And that fantastic vid… OMG! how do you come up with stuff like that!?
AHAHAHAH! I cant stop laughing…
“what, what in the but”, I’m gona be singing it all day.
But the dolls, I hate. Ugly!!
June 5, 2007 at 8:42 am
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH GAHAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Man do I love gay porn! Go T-Bag!
There once was a girl from Wentucket
Her blog was so funny I sprayed coffee all over my monitor
Wetly, you rock!
June 5, 2007 at 9:51 am
WFW please tell me there’s gonna be an Adventures of Stinkface (a.k.a. Linc, the Great Constipator)….please, I beg of you….
*the funny’s back* Yay!
June 5, 2007 at 10:19 am
HhAHAHAHA you know you have worked up alot of girls fantasies with the slash type poem right? After removeing the fingers from my eyes at the fright that was the michael doll I almost peed my pants at your lovely poem well done WFW another great post,
SHEEEEE’S BBAAAACKKKK………
June 5, 2007 at 11:48 am
LMFAO!!!
Now his eyes are all screwy and his sight went kerplooey
HAHAHAHAHA
*holding ribs*
YOU ROCK WFW!
June 5, 2007 at 12:39 pm
OMG. WFW…LMFAO!!!
That was soooo funny LOL. I think I spilt coffee on my keyboard…you have know idea how hard I’m laughing right now.
June 5, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Geuss how much they cost- well they are apparently 1000 dollars altogether if you buy michael and linc. They scare me i would only buy one if they were life size which there not, there only like 12cms high i think
But very funny poem lol
June 5, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Why do you have to do this?
June 5, 2007 at 2:53 pm
Who the heck designed these dolls? The Michael one looks nothing like Went. And they both look way too menacing…like they’d be pals with Talking Tina and Chucky. Somewhere out there Went is lurking and absolutely cringing!
June 5, 2007 at 6:42 pm
WFW you are too funny!!!!!
June 5, 2007 at 10:00 pm
OMG – I almost fell off my bed laughing! My dog is looking at me like I have 8 heads!
WFW, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you are hysterically twisted!
June 6, 2007 at 2:13 am
bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaahaaa
MiSu now!
June 6, 2007 at 2:20 am
“I have a friend who is an action figure!”, can you imagine Went’s friends laughing histerically to the Cockeye?
Oh how I wish I were Went’s friend with all the practical jokes I’d come up with,we
would be friends no more…
June 7, 2007 at 9:22 am
thats sooo cute!!! i mean the poem.. haha LMAO
June 7, 2007 at 11:12 am
Alright. This is getting flipping ridiculous. Every day I go on a quest for new Wentworth Miller information online. WFW, you must be incredibly frustrated, being that this blog is about him. What’s up with him? Is he traveling? Is he working on a script? Is he holed up in an underground bunker somewhere, Howard Hughes style??? Apparently he is, because I have not seen hyde nor hair of him in approximately two months, and I’m getting a little antsy over here. Who’s with me?
June 7, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Linds, according to the Church forums, there has been a new Went Starbucks sighting – someone posted about it at wentworthmiller.online, but I can’t read the post because I’m not registered there. And the sighting appears to have been of him alone, though I doubt that means anything except that he’s smartened enough not to be seen with anyone in public now.
June 7, 2007 at 2:07 pm
What is Went now a UFO? where do all these leaks and sightings coming from?Anyone can log on & claim they’ve seen him and before long…it’s like wildfire. He was spotted at Starbuck’s!!.it’s become comical. Pics = proof.
June 8, 2007 at 1:34 am
Nice!
June 8, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Doesn’t he have to go out sometime…a dentist appointment, shopping, something…all the photographers must be camped out at night clubs or Paris’s prison (well house now!) I think they are not “catching him” when he is out and about.
June 10, 2007 at 6:06 pm
Ladies, I think we have a new Poet Laureate in the house! *doing an Arsenio woof* WFW, you’re right up there with Maya Angelou…expect a call from Oprah any day now.
Oh and the dolls freak me out. PERIOD. I rank these dolls right along up there with clowns and freaky, blinky-eyed baby dolls. *shuddering*
It just goes to show you that Went and Dom should always, ALWAYS be presented in the flesh…no substitutions!
November 6, 2007 at 2:29 pm
This is the funnyest thing iv seen so far
LMFAO