Earlier, we told you about Wentcrazy, who has been detained indefinitely due to his Wentworth Miller impersonation spree. We are happy to report that we have finally reached Wentworth Miller for comment and he has agreed to give us an exclusive interview regarding this still developing situation. We now take you to Wents’ secret location…
Went: Yes, I’m here.
WFW: Hey Baby, how’s it goin?
Went :WFW! I’ve missed you. I’m good; What’s up with you?
WFW: Oh nothing much, just wondering how you’re holding up and how it’s hanging…a little to the left if I remember correctly…
WFW: So Went, what’s the deal with this evil bastard trying to make you out to be some sort of player or something?
Went: Well we’re not sure. We think it’s like, some sort of PR ploy because I’ve never officially taken a stance on the whole sexuality thing. You know I’m a private person and really it’s no one’s god damn business but mine. Besides you already know what I like.
WFW: Do I ever! That’s what I thought though. So, why not instead of answering, just go the Paris Hilton route and make a sex tape? I mean pictures don’t lie…well unless they’re photoshopped…OK bad example but you get the idea. I think that would definitely set the record straight…so to speak. You know what? I’ll star in it with you. How does that sound?
Went: It sounds great but there’s really no need. Fuck em all.
WFW: Does that include me?
Went: *laughs* Of course…Hey is that you across the street?
WFW: Well yeah…
Went: So why’d you call me if you were just gonna show up?
WFW: Well, you know how I like to be on top of things…
WFW: *laughs too* You always did love my puns you wicked man. So, what’s next on the Wentworth Miller appearance schedule?
Went: I was thinking I might fly somewhere, you know, just to be spotted in the airport or have my photo taken…to prove that all of this hasn’t gotten me down.
WFW: As I remember it, it takes a lot to get you down…
Went: *laughs* How is it you can make ANYTHING sound sexual?
WFW: It’s a gift.
And there you have it folks. Down but not out, Wentworth Miller presses on while Wentcrazy twirls in circles, reciting Jay-Z lyrics. I wonder what’s next for Wentcrazy? A Prison Break maybe?