Wentworth Miller’s Evil Twin Arrested

While Wentworth Miller has been quietly going about his life filming, playing scrabble, eating “Reesie Cups” and drinking coffee drinks, some maniac who just so happens to be his doppelganger (real name: Wentcrazy), has been wreaking havoc: Screwing women on airplanes, taking them out to dinner and being a very, very bad boy. Over the weekend, Evil Went was apprehended on 1 count of impersonating perfection, 2 counts of assault with a deadly penis and multiple counts of attempted PR fraud. After he all but INSISTED that he was indeed Wentworth Miller, instead of being carted off to jail, he was shipped off to the loony bin. Sources say that he can be seen shuffling about muttering to himself that he has been the victim of a “conspiracy at the highest levels,” how “it’s hard out here for a black man,” and how “it was that bitch WFW that ruined his life” by posting about his hijinks. We have obtained a picture of the sneaky little devil and while he is clearly not the Wentworth we all know and love: Crazy never looked so good.

The real Wentworth Miller could not be reached for comment. Seeing as HE never gets to have any sex, we think he’s at home playing with himself…

17 Comments

Filed under Humor

17 responses to “Wentworth Miller’s Evil Twin Arrested

  1. notthedoctor

    First commentary! YAY!
    * actually it makes me nervous *
    ROFLOL 🙂 WfW funniest stuff!!!
    you’ll be the death of me, making me laugh so hard.
    Anyway, i’d have me some Wentcrazy everyday if i could get my hands on him.
    He’s in psycho ward? is that it? Chained to a wall? I could show that womanizer a few tricks. that’ll teach him to fuck around everything with a vigina but me!

  2. Wheelygirl

    Sorry, can’t comment for sniggering.

  3. Mink

    OMG, WFW! Laugh. My. Ass. Off! You know, it was a Girl!Crush, but this post has done it… It’s now True Wuv! Mink 4 WFW 4Eva! In fact, Wentworth had better hurry up and hussle his ass over here to London and give me some luvin’, or I’m moving my constant raging longing to you. Come to think of it, d’you think that might be a plan? I mean, Went might like to watch. This could be a winner for both (all three?) of us. *furious giggling*

  4. Anonymous

    I’m crazy in love with this man.

  5. Anonymous

    hehe….playing with himself!!

  6. Anonymous

    Seriously, why don´t you try your chance in L.A as a scriptwriter? You know it´s hard to find a good storyteller and you are such a talented girl! You know Went is looking for “someone in the business…” …

  7. Anonymous

    Wentworth stop playing with yourself and let me take care of that for you……

  8. Tbaby

    Don’t play with yourself Went. I’ll play with you! I’m sure we can get up a rousing game… of Scrabble. I might even whip the pants off you (if you ask nicely.)

  9. Ex-Communicated Tewin10s

    LOL!!! Don’t rat on the hooded brutha with the green contacts trying to grab all Went’s spillover poontang. And on LA …girl, we keep the “manufactured perfection” types in their own Colony. Besides, they’re all stuck in crappy rooms reading lines, drinking bad coffee and calling their Agents. There’s a reason why they crop the behind-the-scenes people out.

    Natural D-Cups from Hollywood

  10. Wet For Went

    notthedoctor, the really weird part is…now I can’t figure out if I want Went or Wentcrazy. This is SO hard!

    wheelygirl, LOL *smirking*

    mink, I am totally rubbing off on you, lol. Your crush is shared you sexy thing.

    anon 10:26, yeah I think that about sums it up for all of us.

    anon 10:58, awww thanks! I would not be opposed to a move to the land of the beautiful although I would stick out like a sore thumb against the backdrop of such (manufactured) perfection. Anyone who can save me from low income hell though can holla at me anytime. Somehow, gossiping, making fun of, and worshipping Went probably wouldn’t fare well for being in an actual relationship with him but dammit if that wouldn’t be sweet.

    LOL @ anon 11:10

  11. Anonymous

    Ex- comun…

    What was that …? Sorry, I have to go and fetch my English- Spanish dictionary and try to decipher the irony in your words…

  12. notthedoctor

    WfW, did i hear “BOTH” in the audience? did someone say “SANDWICH”?
    … i think i hear voices, sexy Went Voices, i’m afraid i’m hallucinating again. i miss my Pretty so much, one week already… *snif*

  13. Wet For Went

    That’s the sprit tbaby. If he needs someone to play with, volunteer.

    Ex-Communicated Tewin10s, LMAO. I’ve never even been to LA so I’m just talking out of my ass. I really don’t think I’d like it anywhere but the East Coast but it’s not like I have anything to compare it to right?

    notthedoctor, BOTH! Why didn’t I think of that? Went times 2? Sign me up.

  14. soiled undies

    I wish Wentcrazy would assault me with his deadly penis!

    I want him to bang my head against a wall multiple times while sticking it to me! Or perhaps he can bang my head against an aeroplane toilet. Can you believe I have yet to join the Mile High Club! ( Did I spell that right?
    It is one of my ambitions to become a member, a well respected member.)

    I am now so torn, Wentcrazy or the real thing?! What about Wentnasty?! Hey! Went can now put his name to Eminem’s “The Real Slim Shady”!

    “I’m Went Miller, Yes I’m the real Went, all you wanna Went Millers’ are just imitating…’

    Anyhoo…Two’s company, three’s fun and four is just taking a ride the kinky bus. I am SO aboard!

    PS

    Mink: Hands off you ho! WFW is mine! I’ve already proposed and all – and it’s official, gay marriages are now legal in SA!

    However…I do believe in an open marriage, you’ve got to keep it hot and spicy…But I go first! I’m not into sloppy seconds.

    You see WFW?! See what you’ve done to me?! To all of us?! We will now be bitchfighting for a piece of your booty (which I’m sure is worth it), the claws are out baby and here’s a warning; I’ve pulled a mean hair back in my day.

  15. Wet For Went

    su, Went could assault me ANYTIME. Sadly I have not joined the Mile High Club either but that’s probably b/c whenever I’m on an airplane, I’m praying to every God and Goddess ever known to man that my plane doesn’t fall out of the sky and I don’t plummet to my very terrifying and almost certain death…Can you tell I don’t like to fly? And you know I belong to you. *wink*

  16. I’m sorry but can someone please agree with me on the fact that Just looking at that man makes you want to lick him all over!?! its not fair that any guy should be that hot and untouchable!

  17. CornyChick

    kayc, ur so right! and by the way, wouldn’t it be awesome to have the real wenty, wentcrazy, wentnasty, wentsexy, and wenthotdudesty? like a sixsome with 5 HOT GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg! i would die for that!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s