OK I admit it; I’m Wentworth Miller’s Ex-Wife and I’m a Vampire

Hi. You may know me as WFW but my real name is Alison Billingsley. It used to be Alison Miller but the name I would prefer for you to call me is Mrs. Wentworth Miller, thanks. It has come to my attention that someone has discovered my secret and posted it on Wikipedia (check the last sentence under Personal Life). Yes, we were married in 2004 and the marriage was annulled so there won’t be a record of it. See that pic above? If you google my name, that’s what you get. I’m such a gorgeous vampire. My being a vampire is the whole reason we broke up…

You see, Went and I met in a park. He was taking a shortcut home from Starbucks one evening and I saw him and intended to kill him and you know, drink his blood and stuff, but then he started talking and he was so super cute and funny that I decided against it. He asked me out and I said yes. Our first date was a trip to the beach. Went looks really great with a tan. Oh that whole Vamps can’t go out in the sun thing: totally not true. That you believe it makes you humans much easier to kill in the daytime. I had a nice snack in the bathroom that day. Anyway, the sex was so good we got married the next day. If sex was an earthquake, this one would have been off the richter scale because it would have ended the world. Yeah, he’s that good.

Our relationship was hot and heavy and only lasted a few months. Yeah, he mentions me in interviews. He still loves me; I know he does. And eventhough he won’t return my phone calls because of that unfortunate biting incident (the scar on his lip…I had spent several days with him and was not able to feed and we were kissing and I just, fuck, Went, I’m SO sorry), we were so perfect together! One of these days he’s going to call me up and say “Alison, I still love you. I don’t care that you’re a Vampire, just come back to me and please never bite me again.” Until then, let’s just keep this a secret between us OK? I’d hate for it to get out of hand and turn into this really big rumor cuz you know those things never die! Kinda like me. I gotta fly but I just thought I’d clear that up for the people who were trying to solve the mystery. I wonder if Went is ever going to figure out that the bat on the set that no one can get rid of is really me…


Filed under Humor

38 responses to “OK I admit it; I’m Wentworth Miller’s Ex-Wife and I’m a Vampire

  1. Anonymous

    You are too much! Your imagination knows no bounds. Is this why Went has written a story that’s part Hitchcock, part love story with a vampire twist? It’s a tribute to you, isn’t it? Hmmm…can’t wait until it sees the light of day. πŸ˜‰

    Oh, and I never believed the thing about vampires being forced-nocturnals. HELLO! One would think that thousands of years of evolution would correct this hinderance.

  2. Wet For Went

    Yup. That is going to be based on a true story. Maybe he’ll even put that at the beginning! I really love it when movies do that. I wish he would just call me already. It was just a little nip but he completely freaked out.

    I mean we don’t actually LIKE the sun but we’re not gonna burn up and die, that’s just absurd! Went, if you’re reading, I’m sorry. Come back to me!

    (I know; I’m insane)

  3. Stacey

    So WFW, was he really married???

  4. Wet For Went

    No clue, but if I had to guess, I’d guess no.

  5. Anonymous

    I knew he was hiding something, at least this means he likes girls…or could be bisexual, maybe thats why it ended, cause who would leave his fine ass???

  6. Anonymous

    That bastard married someone and never said a word to me. Why Went Why??? *tears,sob!*

  7. Anonymous

    I bet someone hacked into his Wiki page and added that bit of nonsense. Just because I was curious, I Googled her name and she’s a real person. A make-up artist in Dallas, right WFW?

  8. notthedoctor

    Must’ve been a hell of marriage, as long as it lasted, you know with all the hot and heavy sex and huh the sex!
    What i wanna know is: Was it worth it?
    I mean huh the biting, was the biting worth the cancelled marriage??? because i heard that when a vampire bites during sex their orgasm is amplified like a hundred times!
    i can’t imagine?
    please do tell!!! πŸ™‚

  9. redlightmind

    Impossible. He married me on Nov. 29th! And we didn’t leave the hotel room for weeks so it’s an obvious lie!

  10. Anonymous

    He was never married. No self-respecting, loving wife would ever let her husband leave the house wearing some of the tired shit he’s worn out in public. πŸ™‚

  11. Anonymous

    I was in denial when they said Wenty was gay, and I’m in denial over the whole marriage thing, if I can’t see it than it never happened.

  12. Anonymous

    Or is this a way for the publicists to hush the gossip?? nothing like a little spin. Don’t matter a damn to me, I still love him to reeses-pieces.

  13. goingfar

    Curious, I came across another interview where he says he is single. And it also contains some new things about him I didn’t know before (and I know a lot πŸ™‚
    The link is too long and won’t be visible here, so you may go to http://www.metro.co.uk (then type wentworth miller in search bar to find “60 SECONDS: Wentworth Miller”)

  14. Anonymous

    I just have to say, that for me, finding out that he is married would actually dampen the enthusiasm a bit. I mean, part of the allure of Went (for me anyway) is that if I were to ever meet him, then once I recovered my senses I might actually flirt with him because he is so DAMN compelling, & I have a thing for enigmatic guys. But I don’t flirt with married guys, karma being what it is.

    Married Wentworth would still be interesting, in terms of his work. But he would not be the motor behind my B.O.B. fantasies. Kind of like Tom Welling used to send my heart & nether-regions a-flutter until I found out he was married (and read an interview transcript…not the brightest bulb, that one).

  15. Anonymous

    Good God. I hope not.

  16. Anonymous


    I had a mad cursh on Tom Welling too, and went off him for the exact reasons you stated. He’s cute but not bright.


  17. Anonymous

    I highly doubt it’s true. It sounds like someone’s wishful thinking or maybe they’re trying to get into the tabloids by adding their name and hoping that someone believes it’s true!

    If you check the Wiki history, it looks like the same user edited the article 8 different times with different variations of Alison Billingsley story. I think someone’s taking their crush too seriously. Although I should be one to talk!! LOL πŸ˜›

    They wrote:

    “Wentworth Miller married Alison Miller in 2004, but had the marriage annulled in 2005. The couple prefer to keep their relationship status quiet until they decide to reveal it to the public.”


    “In 2004 Wentworth married Alison Billingsley- Miller. The couple got their marriage annulled in 2005 and are keeping their status a secret from the press.”

  18. Anonymous

    Oh, I forgot to add in my post above at 11:05pm that this marriage story wouldn’t make sense to me anyways because I don’t think Wentworth is the kind of guy to hide a marriage to someone he loved, even if increased his sex appeal or fame. He sounds too grounded to be that manipulative and shallow.

  19. Anonymous

    Fame is a hungry beast…everyone in Hollywood is shallow.

  20. A B

    I personally think this all bullsh!t no wonder this guy is so damn private about his personal life.Look at how many loonies are out there probably making stuff up about him.

  21. tia

    I saw that too a little while ago and called bullshit on it , by the way that bat scared the shit out of me when I scrolled down,LOL

  22. Anonymous

    yeah..i agree..that’s one ugly vamp bat! thank you for satisfying my need for a bit of vampire action πŸ˜‰

  23. Anonymous

    sorry..don’t know what happened there..bit mouse happy.

  24. mink

    This just makes me laugh my ass off. Some ppl on the net are crazy, freaky bonkers!

  25. Wet For Went

    OK, as with most everything b/c I’m just a cynic, I think this is total and complete bullshit but hilarious nonetheless. What don’t I find funny? The vamp bat had me dying, LOL. Someone please take away Alison’s computer. She needs a timeout.

  26. babe1973

    Would this explain the whole story?
    But who cares. As long as he is single now….WFW I loved your story and even almost bought it. Lol.

  27. Wet For Went

    That is certainly VERY interesting. Thanks babe! I just posted it.

  28. babe1973

    You are welcome. I really thought is was photoshopped. So I never used it before… until I saw Wikipedia.

  29. Boxergirl

    WFW – You are just too much girlfriend! When the film is in production will you have a hand in casting you role perhaps?

  30. Wet For Went

    LOL Why boxergirl, I’m so glad you asked! The part of WFW will be played by: Pam Grier

  31. Anonymous

    youre a frickin liar!! i posted that on wikipedia, my name is alison billingsley too, i ddi it as a joke and i ddint think it would spread this far, but stop making this stuff up!! HE WAS NEVER MARRIED TO YOU AND THAT THREAD WASN’T ABOUT YOU!!

    Crazy girl from IMDB,

    Please tell me you’re joking…How old are you? I’ve seen your thread and this post was meant to make a mockery of the false Wiki info BEFORE you were posting all over the place that it was a joke. I suppose the humor was lost on you. *shaking head* And my name is not really Alison either. *shaking head again*

  32. Boxergirl

    Geez… Someone had a big bowl of crazy for breakfast that day huh?? *scratches head*

  33. souad

    went you are a beuatifull men in the world.i love you my love of my life

  34. souad

    please give me your number phone

  35. rahma

    i luv went so much that i wish he was my husband

  36. tee alice

    Wentworth Earl Miller is not really so handsome but i feel he’s got attitude, potential, dignity, poise….. and a certain level of arrogance that i adore,maybe i’m saying he’s not cute cos i just found out he was married. i always dreamt i would have his baby even if we won’t get married. Does that mean he’s now a vampire? I still love him and i still want a babby cos i’m sure it’s a lie but even if it’s not i’m still searching and waiting for you even if we would just be friends through the web.GOD he’s like twice my age but i can’t stop praying please went send me a mail. i would be expecting it.tc

  37. Erica

    You are so stupid. It’s real rude to make up complete bull shit of other celebs. Obviously, he’s too busy to even marry. He’s not even ready to settle. He still has much to do with his life, before he even thinks about having a wife. Next time..Don’t talk shit. It’s really fucked up. Especially, you and him having “sex”. Your dreams are getting the best of you. Get a real story. And maybe, people will actually care to read it.

    So maybe, you won’t have to comment to yourself as “anonymous” and “pretend” that people actually read this crap.

    WFW: I'm confused...Who are you talking to? Surely, not to me.

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