Happy Fucking Valentine’s Day


I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s over-rated and with the exception of flowers from my father and maybe a small gift from my parents, it’s a present-less holiday. It. is. stupid. Now I have proof of how dumb this holiday really is: I have scored a big fat 0 in everything on this lovely test…well, except for Sex. Now you might be thinking, WFW, you only want Went for his body right? Well you are only partially correct but for now, let’s just say yes. Scoring a 60 out of a possible hundred makes even that look like a doomed prospect. I don’t even care about the other categories (Love, Friendship and Partners respectively), or about the fact that the test said that Went would be committed to me and be dominant when it comes to intimacy. When it comes to passion it says I would be the dominant one, OK so that part is right….but sex a 60? A FUCKING 60? I’m insulted and offended. I’ll take Sex for 100 Alex…cuz that is the only number in that category that I’d be interested in. Now you go take it. Break your heart, dash your dreams, and Happy Fucking Valentine’s Day!

***Oh, and them not having Wentworth Miller’s exact time of birth totally makes the entire thing inaccurate and shoots their statistics all to hell so THERE! *mumbling under breath* That’ll teach you to give ME a fucking 60 in sex…

Thanks Lily! *punching Lily*


UPDATE: OK so this SO made up for that stupid test, lol.

If you aren’t laughing your ass off right now b/c you don’t get it, have a look here.

Thanks Patty!

UPDATE #2: I changed my mind…This is the the best Valentine’s Day EVER.

21 Comments

Filed under Humor, Quizzes and Polls

21 responses to “Happy Fucking Valentine’s Day

  1. nicbeast

    It’s a stupid fucking holiday.

  2. Lily

    I scored 100 in the sex category! Woo hoo! I hope he likes girls. šŸ˜¦

  3. Krissie

    So, turns out Went and I would make the bestest friends in the whole world!
    This test is stupid! *pouts*

  4. Mama Bear

    I scored 110 on “partners.”

    Great, Went and I can start a rockin’ door-to-door cookie selling enterprise and blow those Girl Scouts outta the water! Yeah, if we don’t sample all the treats first!

    Mama Bear = human Cookie Monster

  5. notthedoctor

    Average it said, Average Passion… I don’t think my Rage will be average when I lynch that STUPID FUCKING TEST! Stupid Holiday!

  6. Karen

    Well, shit WFW. Thanks for giving me yet another reason to not get caught up on my grading.

    It would appear that:
    Went and I would make great partners (100), great friends (90), but would share a committed though not very passionate love (50) and a seriously lacking sex life (0). Yep, ZERO!!!

    I don’t like tests. Hell, I don’t even give my students many. So why did I take this?

    Oh well, I’ll just inundate my disappointment with bad, cheap chocolate and think about the St. Valentines who all died gruesome deaths for their friends.

  7. Anonymous

    Man you guys are gonna hate me! I took the test and got a 120 on love, 100 on friendship, 130 on sex and 100 on partners. Commitment was strong, Intimacy was strong, Passion was powerful with him being dominant towards me. I never thought we would be that compatible. (I can hear the cursing now)

  8. Lily

    DAAAYYYYMMM anonymous! That is a NICE score! Yikes! Quickly reassure us that you’re married and live deep in the jungles of North Korea…

  9. Mama Bear

    Yippee-fucking-doo, anon 6:57 *hating with love*, I’m still pissed that my sex score with Went was a mere 60. Apparently, for him, I’d be a bum lay – WTF?!

  10. Mama Bear

    OK, let me be the first of many ladies who are going to say this:

    “He can put his dick in MY box any day!”

  11. sammie.pie

    Oh GRACIOUS ME!! That’s quite an impressive sized box you got there, Mr. Miller… *squeeeee*

  12. Geisha

    That box on his lap sure leans to the left…just how I like it.

  13. mink

    You know that pic of the fallen cupid you posted at the top there, WFW? That’s how I feel about Valentine’s Day. ‘Nuff said.

    I didn’t take that test, ‘cos as soon as I read this…

    “Family relationships and attachments are not as important to him as they are to most people and Miller often considers his friends closer to him than his blood relatives.”

    …I knew that the ‘profiles’ on that site are complete and utter bullshit. And it went on, characteristic after characteristic that was completely wrong. So, never fear WFW, you and The Perfect One would undoubtedly have Hot Monkey Sex. Although you knew that already, didn’t you? šŸ˜‰

  14. LN

    Christmas… Dick in a Box
    Hanukkah…. Dick in a Box
    Valentine’s Day….
    WENT’S DICK IN A BOX!!!!
    Dude I love that song šŸ™‚

    Don’t get me started on the test…It appears that my “passion towards Wentworth Miller is average or below” BS!!!!!!

  15. Anonymous

    I must be stupid or something because all I saw were the abc’s of Wentworth miller’s
    relationships?

    Where’s the test?

  16. Wet For Went

    Click Analyze Relationship and you’re golden.

  17. Anonymous

    WTF I just took the test and got a 120 on sex, 87 on love and a 60 on friends , 50 partners. This is bullshit, although having multiple onenightstands with Went doesn’t seem bad actually. Hmmm…

  18. Anonymous

    stupid fucking test I got 50’s across the board no wonder I couldn’t find it!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Belgian

    Right on, MB, right on! And Went, hun, for me you don’t even have to gift wrap it; just say something “nice” to go along with it.

  20. shortstuff

    OMG dick in a box was on SNL last nite! i nearly died! my favorite.. “kwanzaa: dick in a box!” hahahaha, i love this blog!

  21. Becky

    So this is the best test ever!!! Love 110, Friends 110, Sex 110 and Partners 100. Though I am more passionate than he is. Grrrr. Oh well. Thanks for the link to the site. It made my day. šŸ™‚

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s