Long ago, in a land far far away, there were three girls on a quest for The Precious. Word came from the West of a festival in the City of Angels and so they decided to go on a journey, hoping to catch a glimpse of The Pretty. Nic came from northern California; She was the closest. Sam came from Seattle, still on the west coast and relatively close. WFW, however, came from Baltimore, Maryland…all the way across the fucking country, to see Went, who didn’t show up. The three had never met in person but Wentworth Miller brought them all together.
Before the Tears
Nic spent the day before making chocolate chip cookies for WFW’s birthday. She went to work, where at the evil castle, they tried to imprison her and force her into slavery. But, Nic is clever and cunning, or just sneaky, and when no one was looking, she tip-toed out the back door. Once free of her captors, she laughed manically and ran to her car where she created the beautiful, yellow “Wet for Went” sign, just in case she didn’t recognize the illustrious blogger. People waiting at the airport seemed to take issue with it. Nic giggled to herself.
WFW didn’t sleep the night before. She doesn’t like to fly and wanted to be exhausted on the plane since she was flying without drugs. Her first stop was Houston and had she known that Went wasn’t going to show and was probably still in Dallas at the time, she may have blown off her connecting flight and gone Went hunting instead. Ahhh, hindsight. Her next stop was San Jose where Nic was waiting in the terminal with a sign; WFW was amused.
They took a picture of themselves to commemorate their first meeting…
WFW and Nic jumped into the SUV and headed to Mama Nic’s to pick up her Wentworth Miller sketches, for Went, who didn’t show up. She’s an artiste. WFW is looking at her sketch right now (YAY!). Then it was on to breakfast, Best Buy (where they got the best deal ever on 2GB SD cards), Starbucks and the liquor store before heading down to L.A. baby! They took the non-scenic route and sang all the way there listening to Nic’s iPod and the CDs WFW made for Went, who didn’t show up. Thirty minutes outside of L.A., Nic started whining about how she was tired of being in the car. WFW told her to suck it up and she did. When they finally got to L.A., it smelled like…L.A. and they headed for the Best Western Hollywood Hills.
When they arrived, Sam was sleeping as she had checked in first. WFW called mickeydrewme and redlightmind b/c she didn’t want to be in the hotel unless she was sleeping and they all went to Mel’s where they met kellythern and bradybunch. WFW’s caramel dolce whatever-the-fuck from earlier kept her quite acquainted with the porcelain god (Nic: Poor WFW). Good times. Suddenly, it was time for bed and the day they’d all been waiting for.
They awoke the next day to see 300 with maichan and mr. maichan, and it motherfucking rocked. (Nic: Can I get an Amen!!) Was there any doubt? While at The Grove they had lunch and ran into their fellow parishioners once again, this time joined by tuckoo, with Gap bags in hand displaying the visage of one Wentworth Miller. Although they all knew of the bags’ existence, They screamed when they saw them anyway b/c they’re geeks. After a quick chat, they broke company and The Went Trio and The maichans decided to go bum rush The Gap and get their own bags. They caused quite the commotion. One gap employee claimed Went as her own while Nic corrected her but they were all one-upped by the male employee that exclaimed “Oh no honey, he is mine!” The Fellowship told of their quest and how in a matter of hours, it would be complete, for then, they would see him.
Back at the hotel, it was time to get ready. WFW is low maintenance so she just changed her shirt while her girly girl companions got all, well, girly (Nic had to make sure the boobs were just right! Went is a boob man after all! Sammie of course had to get even more gorgeous. Perhaps WFW just didn’t care enough? No, that couldn’t have been it). They left WFW to drink and entertain the maichans. The time came to attend the blessed event and they were off.
They got there an hour early to watch the arrivals and no sooner did they enter before a woman said to WFW “You wore the shirt!” to which she replied, “I did.” The First Church of Wentworth Miller, uniting Went fans everywhere. The Fellowship called the security guys Secret Service and flirted with them; A couple of them were fucking hot and they loved the way they gave orders. They met some William Fitchner fans and shared their love of The Bill. He plays the hell out of Mahone.
Photographers asked what WFW’s shirt said so she read it out loud for them and one of them said “My name is Wentworth!” so she replied “I guess that means I’m wet for you too then.” He blushed. Photogs took pics of their shenanigans and they ended up on Wire Image and Getty (Page 2) (DAMN look at that ass). It’s party time wherever they go b/c that’s just how they roll. Just then, the cast started coming out of the glass door for snapshots with the MTR backdrop and to give little mini interviews. As they looked on, Amaury’s fine ass came walking out and for a moment, WFW considered running over and licking him but she decided against it as Secret Service was everywhere. Although, Nic would have run interference for WFW, since she had bail money. K.W. was there salivating in anticipation, like the rest of us, waiting for Went, who didn’t show up. Secret Service warned the crowd that it was showtime and so they went in and took their seats and realized that they were in the front row…THE FRONT ROW. Nic was sure she heard angel’s voices from on high when she saw the seats.
The pilot starts to play and as it does, Season One Wentworth shows his beautiful face. Mmmm, Wentworth will be coming out soon. They can hardly wait. The time comes to say a phrase that should definitely be on a T-shirt “Properly Propagated,” and so they all say it, all three times. They say it with him, for he is OLP. The Pretty, His Royal Gapness, The smartest and most beautiful con in all the land. His bucket hat runneth over with sexiness, he has the face of an angel and his lap would be anyone’s final destination. They swoon when he waves his weapon. The way he points and the way he shoots and Oh God the fingers…WFW blacks out and when she comes to she grins and says, “Welcome to Prisneyland fish.” The lights come up and although they were ushered into the theater before they actually saw Went come out, they have faith that he is there.
And now it’s time to introduce the cast and The Fellowship gives them a hearty welcome. Nic stealthily sits her camera on her knee and sets it up to take pictures without being caught. The whole cast is even better looking in person than on TV. Unbefuckinglievable! First out, Wade Williams who WFW giggles every time she sees b/c of his role as the scary but hilarious Priest on The Bernie Mac Show. Yay! Next is Rockmond Dunbar who WFW remembers from Soul Food, the series on Showtime. Yay again! Next out, Robert Knepper…Mmmm the Knep and he gives us all a lovely gesture to prove that he does have both hands in real life. They’re so glad he did b/c they really weren’t sure. MOTHERFUCKING YAY! Next, Holy shit look at that suit and those dimples…Visions of Cellie Sandwiches danced in their heads…It’s Amaury Nolasco and good fucking god does he look hot. YAY YAY YAY YAY, Can you do that walk out again? More Yay and WFW adds an “Ow!” to the end for effect. Oh yes, he deserves it. Nic joins WFW in the catcalls seriously thinking about revising her “Laminated List” and adding Amaury. Next out Sarah Wayne Callies looking pregnant only in the belly, glowing and looking beautiful. YAAAAAAAAAAAY! Next out is Dominic Purcell. He’s hot too but if he’s just come out, then they know who must be next. Squees are suppressed, eyes glaze over, hearts beat faster and he’s coming, he’s fucking coming! The next name is read and it’s…NOT HIM? WTF?
And so they have their first casualty: Sammie. May she rest in peace. We loved her, but she died that day of a broken heart. She made a beautiful corpse and she requested that she be buried with Wentworth Miller. Nic had a look of horror on her face as she realized what was happening and the color had drained from it. WFW felt her heart stop but kept smiling anyway. Wentworth Miller did not show up. The world has ended.
WFW pretends everything is OK; What else is she gonna do? Cry? She reaches over and rubs Sammie’s leg to try and stop the tears from coming. Went not being there was the elephant in the room and it threatened to sit on and suffocate everyone in the audience. They had lumps in their throats and they were in pain…but they had to press on. The moderator asked how each cast member got involved in the project.
Wade was looking for work but didn’t think his four year old would approve; His Agent made him go for it.
Rockmond was working on another show that didn’t go anywhere; The Prison Break Gods were happy as they wanted him for their own.
Robert’s wife told him he needed a job; His choices included Professor Rob, Ranger Rob and Actor Rob.
Amaury found out he was a favorite while taking a leak next to Paul Scheuring; Oh and he doesn’t like to read (which Dom pointed out, lol, Dom is a hot smart ass).
Sarah locked her keys in the car before her audition and afterwards called AAA to come help and had to watch all the execs she auditioned for walk out as she sat waiting for 4 hours; She probably got the job out of pity.
Dom was surfing and working on another show he’d like to forget; He was sure he got the part b/c he’s just cocky like that.
Robert and Amaury noticing WFW’s shirt and the look between them.
WFW catching Amaury looking at her. She then looked him in the eye and smirked and he smiled back.
Amaury saying fuck (Fuck is such a great word) and then covering his mouth in surprise and turning to Sarah’s belly and saying into it “Don’t say those words!” (Nic: Mmmmmm, Amaury saying fuck…)
Sarah explaining to the audience the reason Amaury was talking to her lap is because she is pregnant.
Real life prisoners got a hold of Wentworth Miller’s cell phone number and called him, repeatedly (Nic would like to sign up for con school).
There WILL be a season 3 and they’ll be shooting in Dallas, Florida and Louisiana.
The tattoo IS coming back (on Monday to be exact), and when the question was asked, WFW made a rather orgasmic noise that she didn’t intend to make out loud which prompted Amaury to say “Clean up on aisle 4.”
Sarah stopping mid sentence to say “Oh you don’t care about the tattoo, you just want to see Wentworth Miller with his shirt off,” and The Fellowship yelling out “Yes, that’s exactly what we want,” in response.
Sarah giving the what about me face after Paul mentioned one of the key parts of the show’s appeal being the hunky guys and WFW and company yelling out “Oh you’re hot too! Sarah!” and clapping.
Rob being T-bag for a moment to say a line that was directed at Michael that didn’t get into one of the first season episodes, “I’m gonna light up that leather donut boy.” WFW is so sorry that didn’t make it in and she’s strangely turned on.
WFW telling Amaury she wanted a picture and him saying “Oh she wants a picture; OK let’s take this picture right now.” Then when he was taking too long, WFW hurried him and he said “Oh you’re only into Wentworth anyway,” to which she replied “But you’re my #2!”
Sarah telling the story of her morning sickness before the shooting of the kissing scene on the train and WFW saying out loud “I could tell,” before realizing that she said it. Ooops! It was a compliment though. We all know they could have done better. Nic smacked WFW and told her “Shhhhh!! That’s not very nice!” WFW making the what did I do face.
WFW telling Amaury to take a pic with her “hot friend Sammie.”
WFW asking Amaury what he was doing after and him saying “I don’t know,” and then remembering, turning back around and saying “Oh yeah, we’re going to dinner.” Fooking Security rushed him off before a location could be obtained. Mmmmm Amaury. WFW considered cheating on Went. Afterall, he cheats on her ALL the time. It’s only fair…
Pam finding WFW, putting pinky cuffs in her hand and agreeing to take Went’s gift bag to him.
His gift bag included: An engraved iPod Shuffle and some CDs (he needs all the help he can get, he likes the Scissor Sisters *making gagging noises* Nic likes them too, but she’s a freak),
a Starbucks gift card, a WFW T-shirt and bracelet, two beanies knitted by Nic, two sketches drawn by Nic Mother, and a shorty of Cutty. It’s just not a gift bag without the liquor. Too bad we didn’t know about His Royal Hotness being a no show ahead of time; We could have bought larger bottles to assuage our sorrows. *Sigh*
WFW got a pic with Robert Knepper!
And who could forget that hot hot hot Amaury…Although while getting the Amaury pic, SOMEONE jumped up onto the stage and weaseled their way in and fucking took over. *rolling eyes*
For notes that will make you feel like you were there, go here. For some reason, she found it amusing that Went wasn’t there.; She’s lucky her notes are good…
Let’s have a bit more Amaury…
WFW is seriously crushin’ on Amaury, in case you couldn’t tell. I guess that’s what happens…when Went doesn’t show up (Yes, it had to be said, AGAIN).
*whispering very softly* Went, I forgive you.