The Two Martinis

Continued from The Fellowship of the Pretty

Security screamed out “Alright, this is the last picture folks!” and with that, WFW and Nic took the very last picture of the night. After everyone left the stage, they hung around for a bit in the lobby to take pictures and to make sure WFW didn’t see any more of her new boyfriend Amaury. Mmmmm Amaury. Their fellow parishioners hit the bathroom while they noticed Rockmond still there but they didn’t get to see him. After the excitement was over, they realized once again that Went did not show up and they knew what they must do…Go out and get very, very drunk.

Of course, one also needs food when one gets drunk or they’ll end up with a keyboard that no longer works (Don’t. Ask.) and so they went to Canter’s Deli (where they give you pickles as snacks) so they could get both.

The sadness sunk in for Nic and she looked miserable. WFW couldn’t look at her. They needed to be comforted and so they ordered comfort food, macaroni and cheese and an ice cream sundae, and shared. Along with the Apple Martini’s WFW had, and Nic’s Diet Coke it helped things alot. Not one to be defeated, WFW knew what must be done, they must go somewhere where the music is loud, the drinks are expensive and the men are gay. The maichans suggested: The Abbey.

The Abbey was actually, well, an abbey. The gate, the archway, the men…The maichans dropped WFW and Nic off but didn’t come in b/c they don’t club. Just out of the car, a cute little blond boy walked up to WFW and said “I love your hair!” *happy sigh* WFW was home. They walked over to the pretty boy ID checker (so many pretty boys EVERYWHERE) and gained entrance. Once inside Nic saw her Georgia (if you’ve read her story, this makes sense to you), but didn’t talk to him b/c he was making time with another cute boy. Nic and WFW went straight to the bar, getting smashed was necessary b/c Went did not show up. They tried to forget and ordered the biggest, most expensive Apple Martinis ever known to man (Nic would like to know how in a bar full of gay men she found the one straight one who proceeded to hit on her) and with their two Martini’s,

they danced their way to a booth to have a seat.

On their way there, Nic got delayed by two pretty gay boys who complimented her on her top and boobs; Nic was happy. WFW sat first, sipping her drink and scoping out the place. She hadn’t been seated for more than a few seconds before a girl came up to her and started dancing in her lap. “OK,” WFW said and accepted the lap dance and danced back while seated. Not 10 seconds behind WFW, Nic walked up to the booth to find some random woman giving WFW a lap dance. Nic quickly searched her memory banks to see if she recognized the woman. Once she was sure she did not, Nic, impressed with WFW’s speed at settling in, sat down and watched the show. When it was over, the girl got up and said “That was hot!” Well, WFW is kind of hot so…Time for more drinks!

At some point that WFW does not remember b/c she was getting drunker by the minute sipping on her Vodka and cranberry (who even knows what number she was on by now), their fellow parishioners arrived, ordered drinks and took their seats. Nearby Nic noticed a cute little Latin boy dancing alone and smiled at him. He walked over to them and started dancing like his life depended on it and so WFW got her second lap dance of the evening. Fabulous! This one however didn’t just dance and run like the girl did, he stuck around to make sure everybody got some. Redlightmind got her groove on, Mickeydrewme wasn’t having it and said “If he is gay, what is the point?” Tuckoo gave Nic her very strong rum and coke after tasting it and deciding she wanted to keep her liver. Kellythern sipped her Pina Colada, head bobbing back and forth to the music, watching the Latin Lothario (LL) give them all lap dances. And then, it was her turn. As she had gone commando, just for Went (see Went, you missed a pretty blond girl with a cute southern accent and no panties, for shame), she spent the entire time making sure her dress stayed firmly in place. LL did such a good job entertaining everyone that when he came back to WFW for more (Nic: WFW was dancing with LL up against the booth wall, bent over the table, sitting down…Impressive), not only did she mock fuck him but she put some money in his underwear. “Go buy yourself something nice,” she said, or at least it sounds like something she would say. She doesn’t remember…DRUUUUUUUUUUUNK.

Caption: Gerardo of Rico Suave fame will be playing the part of LL for visual purposes only. There are no pics from The Abbey b/c what happens in L.A. stays in L.A.

When the bar closed (yes, they closed it down) they were on their way out when Nic got felt up by LL who said “I love your boobs and your junk in the trunk. You are so beautiful!” Nic was pleased. At this time, Nic and WFW remembered they didn’t have a ride home. In their infinite drunkness they followed their fellow parishioners to their cars even though they were going to take a cab. They were very drunk. They walked back across the street where two of the cutest boys ever hailed them a cab (Nic: I don’t care what you say; I choose to believe the one with the prettiest brown eyes was straight and batting his pretty little eyelashes at me because he was interested. You have your fantasies, I have mine..). During the cab ride home, Nic asked why she is not a fag hag when she is so obviously meant to be one. WFW laughed, sat back in the seat and enjoyed the way the cabbie whipped his turns and speedily got them back to the hotel.

Once in bed, one minute WFW was typing and the next she was passed out. Morning came and they got dressed and ready to head back up the coast to Nic’s place. Every time they saw a sign that said San Jose, they pointed and yelled. They’re geeks, very big geeks. They magically found the Denny’s and Burger King they searched for very easily, as well as free wireless in Santa Barbara (where they spent like 20 minutes held up in a parking lot on their laptops checking email, posting on message boards and chatting) and the beach.

While there they waded in the water,

took pictures,

and made their mark (Nic was the artist).

And then, they remembered that Went did not show up and they wondered, “Where is Went?”

A very important question, They decided that they should find out.

To be continued…


Filed under Paley Festival

16 responses to “The Two Martinis

  1. Belgian

    First! Yay!

    Gay bar and lapdances… the only way to get through the night after Went not showing up. WFW, you got a girl and a boy lapdance? And still you’re upset about Went not showing? You love the man more than I do, that’s for sure 😀


  2. Krissie

    *tearing up*
    WFW and Nic were there but Went wasn’t…
    Still bloody sad.
    And I wish we had bars with cute gay men giving us lap-dances. *sigh*

  3. nicbeast

    That was hysterical! It was like I was there! Oh wait, I was!!

    Tee Hee.

  4. SavMed


    You had a great time! And who cares if Wentworth wasn’t there; he was missing out on you!!!!!

    And gay bars in Cro, with cute boys and lap dancing??? Not gonna happen for a long time.

    Dialup and no/not many gay bars – that’s Cro! Stay away!

  5. emily

    this is me laughing because you two are so damn funny: AHAHAHAHAHA. obviously you need your time to grieve but I have to say, I feel bad for Went. I mean he’s the one who missed out on a sure fire night of mind blowing sex. maybe he’ll call you up and buy you a coffee with that starbucks gift card. “and what size would you like to make that for your lady friend here, Mr. Miller?” long dramatic pause. “Venti” he whispers with a wink and a smirk.

  6. Anonymous

    oh, and p.s.–I’ve ruined key boards totally sober.
    Mama bear, donde esta mi Dom Porn?

  7. emily

    that wasn’t supposed to be anonymous.

  8. Geisha

    *Sigh* gay clubs, lapdances and getting drunk. Now you know why can’t leave NYC.

  9. niknak

    He didn’t show? Really? *she says sarcastically*

    I am so happy that you found a way to drown your sorrows! I spent a small fortune on Rodeo Drive to ease my pain… your way sounds much more fun!

  10. redlightmind

    I believe that I got a lapdance from Kelly? I had her sit on my lap during the second round of lapdances, then I realized she was commando….. I think we got to know each other too well! lol. Oh what do I care, I was drunk! I also have to say that for a cute gay boy, LL really loved himself some WFW!!!

    Nic, you crack me up!

  11. Mink

    LMFAO-funny! And I still laugh out loud every time you say, “…because Went did not show up.” That joke is still not getting old for me any time soon.

    BTW – *poking you* – where’s the rest of the PB recap? Love your recaps. And I need something to cheer me up, as it appears there are going to be no Went TV appearances to promote the season finale. I may cry, seriously.

  12. YKM

    ooh WFW, that was great LOL
    I’ll be giving you and Nic a phone call if I ever visit LA because I’d love to go partying at the Abbey some time :p
    And definately if everything that happens in LA stays in LA!

  13. Mama Bear

    OK, so I’m a little early celebrating National Poetry month, but I just couldn’t resist writing a little limerick to honor your epic journey (Krissie, if you want, I can write you a lep porn limerick too *wink, wink*):

    There once was a lady or two
    Who hoped to ask Went “How d’you do?”
    But he didn’t show
    The ladies cried, “NOOOOO!”
    And tanked ‘tinis to drown out their blues.

    OK, so the last line wasn’t an exact rhyme, but I’m not freakin’ Shakespeare!

    Seriously though, I’m glad that you all had a great time. Went definitely missed out!

  14. redlightmind

    By the way, I do believe it was Ms. Mickeydrewme getting her groove on with LL. Lets give the slut credit when it’s due, shall we? lol.

    I shall now go hide from MDM. I fear her.

  15. Pingback: The Return of the Went « Wet For Went

  16. Pingback: The Fellowship of The Pretty « Wet For Went

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