Wentworth Miller: Your Hiatus Checklist

1. Call me

I’ve given you my number twice now. A lesser woman might see this as rejection but I think you just haven’t gotten around to it yet, so get on that would you?

2. Rest

Oh, you poor baby, you work so much…You need downtime! Sleep, for a couple of weeks. Order takeout, watch TV, and just stay in bed.

3. Call me!

Wait, already said that ummm, Meet me at the top of the Empire State Building? I know it’s very Sleepless in Seattle of me to ask but I promise it will be An Affair to Remember. Oh and about that proposal, what is your answer?

4. Read scripts

Yes, they’re all shite but keep looking. KEEP LOOKING! The one for you is out there; I know it.

5. Get laid

Nice guys need “love” too! See #1. That will lead to #5 and then everybody’s happy.

6. Call up some friends and go have a good time

So you don’t club? Well do something else! Have a few. Kick back and relax. Go to the beach. Enjoy yourself!

7. Be photographed

You have a couple months off and all that I ask is that I see you walking to the store or to your car or something a few times. It gives us all so much joy to catch little glimpses of you. To you it’s an annoyance, to us it’s like a game! So, smile for the camera and make someones day.

8. Do at least one talk show

And talk. See, I don’t ask much of you. I just want to hear you talk, and see you smile, and watch you move, and feel your breath on my neck…Sorry, lost my way. Yes, just talk and that should be fine.

9. Go see the family

I’m sure they miss you.

10. Release an album

You could sing Happy Birthday to every country and to some common names maybe? I’ll give you a hint, my name is under the E’s and isn’t spelled the traditional way but sounds exactly the same. Go to a local crap shop, look for those mini license plates with people’s names on them and look up the E’s. Sing Happy Birthday to all of those. One of them is bound to be my name.

Oh Wentworth, I miss you already! *sniff*


Filed under Humor

17 responses to “Wentworth Miller: Your Hiatus Checklist

  1. Krissie

    “Call me!”, said WFW.
    Now , if that doesn’t work out, call ME! I am perfectly willing to have my phone number on every site on the WWW. I am serious.

    “You could sing Happy Birthday to every country and to some common names maybe?”
    Same goes for my name – every site there is!

    Enjoy your time off, Went baby.
    (I won’t miss you all that much cuz we just got PB back but I can skip an episode or two if you feel like hanging out. Keep that in mind.)

  2. Anonymous

    WFW, you made me laughed my ass off again. I heart you! Yes, Wentworth please keep reading those scripts. One of them will be worthy of your talent.

  3. emily

    I’m just going to go ahead and lend my support to WFW here: sing happy birthday to everyone in the ‘E’s. go ahead. do it. why don’t you do it? hey, wentworth, remember when britney went nuts and started flashing her crotch around? you should do that. I mean if you’re going to blatently favor Koreans, you could AT LEAST flash us. AT LEAST. I’m sorry, I can’t talk about it anymore. it makes me far too angry.

  4. niknak

    I love your list WFW! I think of ‘friends’ as a universal term, and I am listed in the phone directory!!! If he needs a beach where the paps won’t find him, I can think of several in my neck of the woods… plus I know he has a passport so we could jaunt down to Mexico for some $0.50 beers!!! And, if it works out, I can count backwards from 6 to 5, then go forward from 5 to 6… (and continue to repeat through his entire hiatus ;))

  5. Amy

    better take advantage of this site during his time off…

    and listen to the 10 commandments of the mistress LMAO<3

  6. Wentasy_baybi

    Oh my god!!! Went, whenever ur horny, contact me, like immediately, I will give you the best fuck ever. I guarantee it. Trust me! I’ll give you the best everything! You would love me and I’m also a sexy brunette with all the qualities you mentioned you want in a girlfriend.lol! Actually, I would tease you like so bad. cuz that’s just me… a big tease. I’m only 20, but believe me… I KNOW wut I’m doin’ and age don’t matter. So yeah… I’m a really bad girl and I want you to spank me and punish me so hard.LOL! Ok, I’m done!!! No, but seriously Went.lol.Next…

  7. Anonymous

    Damn I like when you write these kind of things! Let’s hope he follows the list:D


  8. Anonymous

    10. Happy Birthday…..deaaarrr


    ahhh….I need more clue’s

  9. Mama Bear

    Went, will you please call WFW? I need to live vicariously through her joy, then ecstasy, and then tortured loyalty at hearing your smooth, velvet voice saying, “You can only have me if you…_ w _ l _ _ w.”


    WFW, you know I love ya! 😉

  10. emily

    MB, you totally crack me up. I’m going to assume the anonymous person who said/sang happy birthday to all the e’s was went just because I’m happy in my own little world and I really don’t see the need to venture out into a bigger world where only Koreans have birthdays. (still bitter)

  11. emily

    I would once again like to say a big fuck you to the Gap.

  12. Belgian

    LMAO, Mambear!

    That’s all 😀


  13. Wet For Went

    Went, if I tell you the next letter that will totally give it away so no can do baby.

    mb, you are so dead…And if he said that out loud to me, I might actually do it. I’d cry but I just might.

    LMFAO em!

  14. Anonymous

    Well you can’t blame a me for asking! I will sing what ever you want and when ever you want.

  15. Anonymous

    Sorry…typo, don’t know how that pesky “a” sliped in there.

  16. Wet For Went

    Oh Went, you always say the right things. I guess I’ll see you at the top of the Empire State Building for that song then…and you know when. *wink*

  17. Dani

    AI KURAMBAI – Why does this man insist on being savagely eye-raped ?

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