The Adventures of Cockeye

There once was an inmate named Michael
Not a bone in his body was spiteful
His bro was gonna die but he didn’t cry
He headed to the bank with his rifle (OK pistol)

He landed in jail with a plan
And tattoos with the lay of the land
He was doing his time for his purposeful crime
and then T-bag showed up just like BAM!

Now Michael, he’s not into dudes
But he figured he had nothing to lose
Cuz T-bag is fine and he takes his time
and his bitches say he’ll even use lube

He figured he’d play hard to get
And make sexy Theodore sweat
but one day in the shower, his ass was deflowered
When a peen and an asshole they met

The sex was so good he saw stars
it was just like playing bumper cars
Now his eyes are all screwy and his sight went kerplooey
and he just loves it behind bars

At his appearance they secretly hiss
All the inmates are taking the piss
Michael broke his ass out, got captured en-route
and all Linc does is stand there like this

pic source


Filed under Humor, Prison Break, You Tubes

34 responses to “The Adventures of Cockeye

  1. OMG …LMAO…”Now his eyes are all screwy and his sight went kerplooey”… Genius! Just Genius!

  2. AJ


    *you wanna do it in my butt, in my butt*

    Please tell me The Adventures of Cockeye is gonna become a regular series/category…

  3. Dani

    I waaaaaaant one !!!

    –Do they come in blow up dolls?

  4. Dani

    Action figures!

    Well fuck me!

  5. sprcow

    Not bad likeness for Action Figures, at least they tried.
    The eyes are a bit screwy and what colour are they?
    Anyone know if the tat is under the shirt?, or if he’s anatomically correct??

    Superb rhyme WFW, where do you find the time?

  6. WFW, dude, seriously, why aren’t you writing for real? This is gold!

    sprcow 11.49 “… if he’s anatomically correct?” LMAO! Talk about asking the right questions.

    Man, I haven’t wanted to undress an action figure since my parents got me a Ken doll for my Barbie.

    Ahh, the memories of simulating sex with plastic toys …

  7. cocot13

    I guess now we know why he’s cockeyed !!

  8. jailbird

    WFW ….girl you are in fine form again….love the new layout.

  9. shortstuff

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! genius i tell you, genius!

  10. blueeyedgirl

    very well done! love the poem

  11. jackie

    omg that was funny . RIght on WFW…if went came as a blow up doll ,wouldn’t matter the price that plastic figure would be mind to fuck lol..

  12. Bel


    Welcome back, WFW! This totally made my day.


  13. Juma

    WFW, there is a soul of a poet inside of you. I loved it!
    And that fantastic vid… OMG! how do you come up with stuff like that!?
    AHAHAHAH! I cant stop laughing…
    “what, what in the but”, I’m gona be singing it all day.
    But the dolls, I hate. Ugly!!

  14. Bluetoothfairy

    Man do I love gay porn! Go T-Bag!

    There once was a girl from Wentucket
    Her blog was so funny I sprayed coffee all over my monitor 🙂

    Wetly, you rock!

  15. AJ

    WFW please tell me there’s gonna be an Adventures of Stinkface (a.k.a. Linc, the Great Constipator)….please, I beg of you….

    *the funny’s back* Yay!

  16. brit bird

    HhAHAHAHA you know you have worked up alot of girls fantasies with the slash type poem right? After removeing the fingers from my eyes at the fright that was the michael doll I almost peed my pants at your lovely poem well done WFW another great post,

  17. LMFAO!!!
    Now his eyes are all screwy and his sight went kerplooey
    *holding ribs*

  18. Angel

    That was soooo funny LOL. I think I spilt coffee on my keyboard…you have know idea how hard I’m laughing right now.

  19. fruit loop

    Geuss how much they cost- well they are apparently 1000 dollars altogether if you buy michael and linc. They scare me i would only buy one if they were life size which there not, there only like 12cms high i think 😦 But very funny poem lol

  20. Anonymous

    Why do you have to do this?

  21. shelly

    Who the heck designed these dolls? The Michael one looks nothing like Went. And they both look way too menacing…like they’d be pals with Talking Tina and Chucky. Somewhere out there Went is lurking and absolutely cringing!

  22. Charlie Brown

    WFW you are too funny!!!!!

  23. chica

    OMG – I almost fell off my bed laughing! My dog is looking at me like I have 8 heads!

    WFW, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – you are hysterically twisted!

  24. SavMed


    MiSu now!

  25. SavMed

    “I have a friend who is an action figure!”, can you imagine Went’s friends laughing histerically to the Cockeye?

    Oh how I wish I were Went’s friend with all the practical jokes I’d come up with,we
    would be friends no more…

  26. rachh

    thats sooo cute!!! i mean the poem.. haha LMAO

  27. Linds

    Alright. This is getting flipping ridiculous. Every day I go on a quest for new Wentworth Miller information online. WFW, you must be incredibly frustrated, being that this blog is about him. What’s up with him? Is he traveling? Is he working on a script? Is he holed up in an underground bunker somewhere, Howard Hughes style??? Apparently he is, because I have not seen hyde nor hair of him in approximately two months, and I’m getting a little antsy over here. Who’s with me?

  28. shelly

    Linds, according to the Church forums, there has been a new Went Starbucks sighting – someone posted about it at, but I can’t read the post because I’m not registered there. And the sighting appears to have been of him alone, though I doubt that means anything except that he’s smartened enough not to be seen with anyone in public now.

  29. Anon 2

    What is Went now a UFO? where do all these leaks and sightings coming from?Anyone can log on & claim they’ve seen him and before long…it’s like wildfire. He was spotted at Starbuck’s!!.it’s become comical. Pics = proof.

  30. Jen

    Doesn’t he have to go out sometime…a dentist appointment, shopping, something…all the photographers must be camped out at night clubs or Paris’s prison (well house now!) I think they are not “catching him” when he is out and about.

  31. Ladies, I think we have a new Poet Laureate in the house! *doing an Arsenio woof* WFW, you’re right up there with Maya Angelou…expect a call from Oprah any day now. 😉

    Oh and the dolls freak me out. PERIOD. I rank these dolls right along up there with clowns and freaky, blinky-eyed baby dolls. *shuddering*
    It just goes to show you that Went and Dom should always, ALWAYS be presented in the flesh…no substitutions!

  32. Maria

    This is the funnyest thing iv seen so far

  33. Pingback: Wet For Went is One Year Old today! « Wet For Went

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