When WFW met Wentworth on Ellen

You guys make me so happy it’s ridiculous. For everyone that has sent in letters so far and even posted on their blogs: Thank you so much! I am truly touched by your love and absolute insanity; You. Are. Great. If you’re reading this and you didn’t send a letter in, then you suck. No really, you do, and not in a positive, life affirming way. I have a feeling that all of our efforts will not be in vain, but in case they are, here’s how the show would have gone.

[WFW and friends are at the taping of The Ellen DeGeneres Show in the front row and it’s time to dance after the monologue. The DJ is playing Money in the Bank and WFW is really into it. While the audience is dancing, Wentworth comes dancing out onto the stage; The crowd goes WILD!]

Ellen: Wentworth Miller everybody!

[Went crip walks up to WFW whose jaw is on the floor because Wentworth Earl Miller III is crip walking. She can’t move. He takes her hand and dances with her. She still can’t move; He goes up on stage and sits down to thunderous clapping, screaming and squeeing looking like sex on a stick.]

Ellen: KA KA KA KA! *more audience screaming* So how are you Wentworth?

Went: I’m good, I’m good.

WFW: *snapping out of it shouts* I bet you are! *audience screaming begins again*

Ellen: *laughs* It seems you have an admirer Wentworth.

Went: That girl with the afro? Never heard of her…*audience laughter*

Ellen: Wentworth! I had no idea you could crip walk!

Went: I’m sure! *laughs*

Ellen: So what’s been going on since last we met? How was your summer?

Went: It was productive. I worked on my script during hiatus and I think it may be almost finished. Right now I’m filming the third season of Prison Break.

Ellen: And how’s that goin?

Went: It’s going really well. We have some new cast members this time around which will really add to the appeal of the show. I’m really excited about it.

Ellen: What can we expect from the new season?

Went: Well the tables have turned. Linc is on the outside and I’m on the inside..

[WFW considers shouting “I wish you were on MY inside!” but decides against it.]

Went: …so it’s going to make things very interesting.

Ellen: So is it safe to say that there will be a, prison break? *raises eyebrow*

Went: *chuckles* I think that’s a safe assumption.

Ellen: The Season Premiere airs Monday September 17 @ 8 pm and we even have a clip.

[clip is played and Michael is sexing up Sona b/c Went can’t help but sex up every damn thing. The audience screams and claps once it’s over.]

Ellen: Wow.

Went: I think the fans are really going to like it. The gang is back in prison and some unlikely alliances are going to have to be formed in order to get out of this one. Sona is much more dangerous than Fox River.

Ellen: You’re tellin ‘ me! Michael doesn’t look safe. He’s going to have to work hard to protect that pretty face.

Went: It’s not his face he should be worried about. Speaking of asses, Wet For Went get yours up here!

[WFW can’t move again for a moment as she looks into his killing green eyes but after a few seconds of shock, she walks up onto the stage.]

Ellen: So you’re from Baltimore, MD and one of Went’s biggest fans. I hear this from all of the people from your blog sending in letters on your behalf.

WFW: Yeah, the people at my blog are so great and Went, they just LOVE you to death, as I do.

Went: *smiles* Well thank you.

WFW: *dies*

Ellen: Where do some of your readers come from?

WFW: Other than the US? Oh all over. South Africa, Croatia, France, Belgium, Canada, Italy, Germany, United Arab Emirates, Switzerland, Portugal, Australia, The UK, Finland, The Netherlands, Greece, Romania, Bulgaria, Korea, Japan, The Philippines, Israel, Malaysia…I know I’m forgetting some. I’ll hear about it when I get home.

Ellen: So do you have a real name?

WFW: I do yes.

Ellen: Are you going to tell us what it is?

WFW: I’m not no, but I do have something for you. I know how you love inventions and I have one. Try and touch Went.

Ellen: Huh?

WFW: Just try.

Ellen: OK.

[Ellen sticks her hand out and reaches for Went and WFW smacks it.]

Ellen: Ow! And what do you call that?

WFW: It’s called the Keep your hands off my man, available wherever fine products are sold.

Ellen: *punches WFW* That’s called the Don’t smack me on my own show and if you call right now, we’ll even throw in a free gift!

WFW: *cracks up laughing*

Ellen: What one question would your readers want you to ask Wentworth now that you have his undivided attention?

WFW: *turns to Went* Well Went, would you please tell me exactly how long it takes to apply that tattoo. Inquiring minds want to know.

Went: *laughs*

WFW: No really, here’s my question: One night, you and me, how ’bout it?

Ellen: Whoa…

Went: *cracking up* What night works for you?

WFW: I’m here all weekend baby.

Ellen: I have to know, what possessed you to name the site, well, what you named it?

WFW: Because Went makes me…w…happy. The site is so much more than the celebration and objectification of Wentworth though. All of the sexuality is just a clever ruse to help people from other countries learn English and to make people read. Think of me as the cyber J.K. Rowling. I’m really just trying to give back to the community. *straight face starts to crumble and WFW starts laughing* OK I’m totally lying I just want to bang him.

Went: *chuckling* That could be arranged…

WFW: *sincere face* Don’t tease me.

Ellen: That’s right Went, you don’t have a girlfriend do you?

WFW: He does now!

[Went touches WFW’s arm and her eyes roll back in her head. She faints, slides off the chair, hits her head on the table on the way down and passes out cold on the stage. The paramedics are called and she is hauled away on a stretcher.]



Filed under Humor

66 responses to “When WFW met Wentworth on Ellen

  1. Charlie B

    That is hilarious!!!! Now i have the image of Went crip walking in my head, and i LOVE it!!!!! WFW, i promise you that none of this is in vein. You will meet him this time. And you better tell him that Charlie B loves him, seriously!!!!!

  2. Charlie B

    i meant “vain”… well hell, whichever one of em is right! I had to work today, so that’s my excuse:i’m still beside myself b/c of that shit!

  3. genpop40

    I don’t know if I’m “great” or if I “suck”…*solitary tear falls*. I have tried everything and I keep getting timed out…and I am typing as fast as my little fingers can go….I mean my fingers are smoking. I’ve tried a freaking dozen times! Both the form, and that other way. *sigh…snif* Maybe one of my attempts posted..I dunno and I’m pissed at that website. At this point I want to rip my own arm off just to have something to beat my computer with….breath….breath….breath….okay, I’m going to try some more. Wish me luck!

  4. Damn, what is this, Minority Report or something? Your take on the show is EXACTLY how I picture it going in my head!

    And see, Ellen and camp, WFW can hold it together on-air. Won’t you make her dream a reality? *down on bended knees – and this time not because I’m feeling randy* πŸ˜‰

  5. Camila

    Oh my gosh, so freaking hilarious WFW. You crack me up in my saddest days. I sent the petition mesagge yesterday, so I hope you get to go to the show. Good luck hon.

  6. AJ

    Ok…posts like THIS are exactly why Ellen needs to have you on her show.

    [Ellen sticks her hand out and reaches for Went and WFW smacks it.]

    Ellen: Ow! And what do you call that?

    WFW: It’s called the Keep your hands off my man, available wherever fine products are sold.

    Ellen: *punches WFW* That’s called the Don’t smack me on my own show and if you call right now, we’ll even throw in a free gift!

    WFW: *cracks up laughing*

    I could soooooo see that happening. AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

  7. Fairy

    There’s no way for Ellen to ignore a disturbance in the force of such proportions! So many people have joined in, and this community rocks almost as hard as you. πŸ˜‰
    As MB said, this is exactly the way I picture the show.
    I’m cheering for you like there’s no tomorrow!
    *crosses fingers, sprinkles some fairy dust, and tries to send more RAM to Ellen’s servers*

  8. evelyn

    Aha aha ahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
    Jesus girl!!! You’re gonna kill me one of these days!!! LMAO!!!

    [i]WFW: It’s called the Keep your hands off my man, available wherever fine products are sold.[/i]


    Oh, you’re sooooo on that show!!!!!

  9. niknak

    You are so fucking hilarious!!! I think I absolutely died at the “one night, you and me, how ’bout it?” If you actually said that to him, you would be my hero FOREVER!

    BTW, I don’t suck (Yay for me!!). I am up to 19 letters I think. I stopped counting, I just keep sending. Viva la WFW!

  10. HereKitty

    Hells yeah, that’s exactly how I picture it!! You and Ellen slapping each other and giving away free gifts! LMFAO!!!

    If you haven’t already gotten good news from Ellen’s people (have you???), this post should do it. How can they ignore pure genious?!

    Btw, Went .. crip walking … bwahahahahaha!!!

  11. Erika

    LMFAO!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ Dudette, you’re talented… I send in a couple of letters but I only managed to get one post on her blog as they are now screening the comments.

  12. Ms. WFW: I did send the “Ellen” forms 4 times last Sunday…This article is a very good one. You had me cracking up before I started work. Take good care of yourself, and I hope you do meet Went at Ellen’s. Please tell him he has fans in the Philippines. Luv ya!

  13. …And, WFW, I hope you know that, if you do end up with Went for life, you are also going to be our dart board for life. Cheers!

    P.S. Try writing a novel or a short story. I think you’ll be great.

  14. shortstuff

    bahahahaha! THIS is why we love you wfw!

  15. Van

    What a hilarious moment this is WFW looool
    Your brilliant imagination take us to another dimension…the dimension of the dream.
    You’re so on that show, I know that you’re going to reach your goal!!!
    Make it for us all. Luv πŸ™‚

  16. Mink

    The scary thing is how exactly that sounded like a Went interview. Completely convincing. LMAO!

  17. SavMed

    The force is with you!

  18. You went to ELLEN and didn’t tell me??! *not speaking to WFW*

  19. SavMed

    …and is strong in WFW.

  20. MrsMiller

    WFW – Can’t wait to see you on Ellen girl. I have a blister on my send finger already from over-use.

    Ps Mink – you can hear the Pretty saying the words on one of the links WFW has about PB3

  21. WFW

    Charlie B, you have no idea how long I laughed at the thought of Went crip walking and couldn’t continue to type. It must have held me up for a half hour at least.

    genpop40, don’t cry. I hear the form works again and if it doesn’t get through, it’s the thought that counts. Thanks for trying!

    I do my best Camila. Thanks for helping!

    How did I know you’d like that part AJ, lol.

    *spinning around in the fairy dust shower*

    *smiling at Evelyn*

    If there was one thing in that whole scenario that HAS to be said niknak, it’s that.

    No news yet Herekitty, but if I get some, I will post.

    I noticed that Erika. A hater comment went through, lol. Oh how I love the hate…

    ChatJemena, thank you for your support and I have added The Philippines to the post (I knew I was forgetting someone). The chances of my ending up with Went forever though? ZERO

    I love you too shortstuff!

    I’m tryin’ Van!

    Actually, what’s even scarier mink, is that I could hear his voice saying it in my head. I actually think it’s probably a collection of things he’s already said just reworded. Hello my name is publicist!

    I am using the force SavMed.

    My bad Krissie. Next time I’ll be sure to tell you beforehand.

    Throw a band-aid on that blister and keep hitting that button MrsMiller. I’m so glad you are in on this too. Tell your son I said what up.

  22. maliha11

    haahahahahahahahaaaha thats hilarious seriously πŸ˜›
    great post

  23. That was hilarious! Great post!

    But, uhm… could somebody enlighten me as to what ‘crip walk’ means…? πŸ˜€

  24. *channeling Sherlock Holmes*

    I figured out the issue with the blocked messages. Ellen’s site is blocking repeat IPs probably to avoid the same exact entries getting posted over and over again, so when commenting again, please keep the following in mind:

    (1) DO comment from multiple sources. I’m going to hit all the libraries in town and post my letters of support because different sources have different IPs.

    (2) DON’T post the same exact letter every time. That would drive anyone nuts. Offer your support for WFW, but be creative. If you’re a poet, send a poem. If you’re a songwriter, send some lyrics. Or just send your most heart-felt feelings on this quest. Just PLEASE don’t spam Ellen with the same exact letter over and over again. Remember, it ain’t spam if it has flava! πŸ˜‰

    (3) DO avoid posting a hyperlink since Ellen’s site may block those too. By now, I’m sure she knows where to find us, so simply saying WetforWent should suffice.

    (4) DO compose your letter in another location (like Word or Notepad) before cutting and pasting it into the form because if you don’t, you may lose your hard work and that would suck ass.

    (5) DO mention WFW’s new post, her script for Ellen’s show. If that alone doesn’t get WFW noticed, I don’t know what will.

    Thanks again for all your support! Isn’t it great to see a plan come together? Went has THE best fan base in the world!

  25. Katharina, witness “crip walking”


  26. Fevah

    Brilliant as usual, my sweet Wetly! I’ve written another letter and I’m being monitored, apparently. I’ve followed MB’s suggestions but I’m sure they’ve tagged my IP. This does not however mean, I’m giving up! πŸ™‚

    BUT… I actually remembered to copy, paste and post it here this time. Hoo-rah. Go Fevah! πŸ˜‰

    Dearest Ellen,

    If you are by any means appreciative of brilliant writing and hilarious good humor, I am certain that you will enjoy the satire provided by Wet for Went – WAIT! Now I’m sure you’ve seen this name by now, but I’m confident that you won’t be disappointed. Her devotion to her fans… and let me tell you, she has a following… is unsurpassed by any other (aside from our glorified subject, Wentworth Miller).

    Ellen, I know you love a great story. I know you love a true character… a down-to-earth, all around enjoyable human being… that is the woman behind WFW. She’s charming, she’s loving and she devotes countless hours to her fans and the fans of her purpose, Wentworth Miller.

    If there is anything you are capable of doing, to allow her the opportunity to meet this man (from whom she has received personal acknowledgment), I would be sincerely grateful! I’m aware that he is expected to attend your show on 9/13/07.

    Would you pull a string or two or several on behalf of she and thousands of fans who visit her blog on a daily basis? Stop on by Wet for Went’s blog! We’d love to have you and while you’re there, be sure to read WFW’s script for the show. Yes, she’s even written one and it is hilarious!! I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

    All the best, Ellen! And thank you for all you can do!! πŸ˜‰

  27. Hey, did you all know that Oprah was on Ellen yesterday? Guess who they were talking about during the commercial break?

    Oprah: “I’ve been meaning to ask you, did you get a video from a girl who calls herself, Wet for Went?”

    Ellen: “Boy, did I ever…a video and about three billion letters from her readers.”

    Oprah: “So, are you going to have her on?”

    Ellen: “At this point, how can I not? Her readers would lynch me and boycott the show – apparently, they’re from all over the world.”

    Oprah: “Well, if you decide against it, do you mind if I book her?”

    Ellen: “YES, I’d mind! She came to me first!”

    Oprah: “Only because Wentworth Miller is going to be on your show!”

    Ellen: “Well, that’s besides the point!”

    Oprah: “Well, I think the only thing to do now is to have Wentworth Miller on MY show. I’ll fill my audience with WFW’s readers and pass out all of his favorite things: Starbucks and Gap gift cards, bucket hats, back packs, and hoodies – all with my logo stamped on them, of course.”

    Ellen: “Of course.”

    Oprah: “And EACH AND EVERY audience member will get a chance to pose for pics with Wentworth before they leave.”

    Ellen: “Damn, I don’t have any of this planned. I’m really screwed, aren’t I?”

    Oprah: “Well, that’s what you get for trying to top my ratings, bitch.”

    Cameraman shouts: “Five, four, three, two, one!”

    Ellen and Oprah don smiles, touch arms, and laugh as the audience claps on cue.

    Oprah, you’re next! πŸ™‚

  28. neri

    LMAO! @ the crip walking!!!

    I can totally picture that and it looks HILARIOUS in my head! Imagen that!! hahahahaha!

    I wonder if he does know how to bust a move…hmmm….yeah…..no……probably not…… :-/

    but WFW you have to PROMISE that you would ask him that question for realz! :-p

    p.s. i sent a letter too πŸ™‚

  29. Mink

    Oh, I just have one little suggested edit. Where you have this:

    WFW: Yeah, the people at my blog are so great and Went, they just LOVE you to death, as I do.

    Went: *smiles* Well thank you.

    I think instead of *smiles*, it should say *smiles and blushes coyly and charmingly*. Just a thought. πŸ˜‰

  30. WFW

    Thanks Fev and neri for your letters!


    And mink, I SO saw him blushing when I said that! Get out of my head!

  31. WFW – what can I say? What can say?! ROTFL

    MB – Thanks for the crip walk video. Now maybe it’s just my pseudo-bougie, suburban, geeky self, but seriously, WTF was that?! It looks like an outtake from the Scary Movie franchise. Though, if Went did it, I would be soooo all over that hippy-shuffle-Thumper-hop thing near the end. Oh yeah.

  32. WFW, that ROCKS! I went over to Ducky’s and left some love…won’t you all do the same? Getting a shout out on his blog is HUGE!

    And Karen & neri, I bet that’s EXACTLY how Went walks when he’s had one too many frapps…FRAPP ATTACK!

    Fever, love, yay to you for getting through! Thank you!

  33. Anonymous

    WFW, can’t believe you’re actually going! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! And seeing him in the flesh this time!!! Now you’re on MY “People I hate” list! πŸ™‚ Please send him our love. Maybe we can sign a card for him or something?

    Btw, you have a readers in Malaysia too.

  34. WFW

    Thanks anon but I’m not going yet! I haven’t heard anything, but the trying is so much fun! πŸ˜€

  35. LMFAO, Mama Bear! Thanks for linking to the video… That was… creepy. πŸ˜€

    And, WFW, HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? Crip walking???


  36. Social B

    Okay (*catching my breath*). You never cease to amaze. NEVER! If they don’t put you on the show, they need to let you write for the show. Hilarious! It’s rare to find someone that has this much passion, humor, sincerity, and brains too.

    As always my friend, I support your craziness to the fullest and demand that people continue to post, blog and/or write to get you on the show! At 4:00 PM myself along with your other faithful supporters will begin a universal “WFW Crip walk” until the producers of Ellen call or notify you that you are coming to the show. We all shall be in unison throwing up “W” and “M” for Wentworth Miller while doing the crip walk. For those with capabilities to video tape themselves doing the “WFW Crip Walk”, please do so and post. Do this even if you have no idea how to do the dance. Be creative like our fearless leader of WFW and get it done.

    Let the sound of pounding feet echo throughout Ellen’s studio and producer’s offices until they realize the impact that having WFW meet Wentworth Miller will have on all of his devoted fans. Especially the creator and followers of WFW!


  37. Social B, you’re a GENIUS! I will get up on my hind legs and crip walk to my heart’s delight. I just hope I don’t pull something. πŸ˜‰

  38. Erika

    Ducky rules!!!! whoo hooo! How effing rockers was that plug? I think that was just the beginning of things to come.

    BTW I thought this was just as awesome:

    Hey Ellen
    I love your show and would LOVE to be on it, but after reading all these posts, I am going to have to defer to the WFW person who I don’t even know!

    Las Vegas

    Posted by mary | September 2, 2007 9:55 PM

  39. WFW

    Universal Crip Walk! AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

  40. Juma

    BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Went doing the crip walk!? I’m laughing my ass of at this wonderfull Ellen show!
    WFW I KNOW you are going to make it, I believe in all the “force” that is surrounding this site and it will make it hapen!
    *back to try to post one more time

  41. LAgurl

    OMG sooooooo funny!

  42. B

    WFW seriously! *stands up and starts to applaud* that was bloody fantastic! hilarious beyond belief!!!

  43. Charlie B

    let’s all c-walk right now! LMAO!!!! I swear i almost spit my beer out thinking about it again… WFW, WHEN you get to see/meet him on the Ellen Show, I dare you to yell out ” Went, C-Walk for us. I know you know how to do it!!!!” If you do that, I would seriously die from shock and laughter!

  44. Charlie B

    Social B-

    I just read you comment, and i’m down! Universal crip-walk everyone. I need to get my best friend’s brother to reintroduce me to it, b/c it’s been a while. LOL!

  45. DanceForMe

    WFW – can’t stop loving you baby…and laughing , this is becoming a six pack workout for me by now…*Jeez, first time sport doesn’t suck*

    Hey, I feel a slight loss of hope over there…Have some “old spice” to cheer you up here:

    you know, if it doesn’t work out, you can still ask everybody over here to post the letters they send to Ellen on your blog as some kind of
    Ellen – WFW – Wailing Wall

    and rejoice at all the love
    you’re getting back from all over the world for having invented the already
    famous and _idomatic _
    WFW – joyride.

    *yeah, wet for Went worldwide = WFWWW*
    (just to promote the usage of W’s a bit more)

    (you know they actually did build a copy of the Wailing Wall in some new Church over here in Berlin, so it really isn’t blasphemous at all nowadays)

    and just so you know, I just added “wet for Went” as an idiom to the Urban Dictionary. I thought that was necessary after the GQ Style Guide incident
    Let’s see whether they’ll accept it.

    (b) Fevah (/b) – I love the Wetly for WFW, sweeeet.

  46. DanceForMe

    *trying to crip walk and falling over my virtual shoestrings*

  47. DanceForMe

    *still waiting for your first wentasy podcast*
    Who wants to hear it, too ?

  48. niknak

    While I thought the crip walking line was hilarious the first time, I, (with the added YouTube visual), have completely lost my shit all over again! OMG!!!! Now that my laptop has had a Diet Dr. Pepper shower, I can honestly say I would SO pay money to see him do that… Granted I would pay money to see him do almost anything (and have), but for that I would actually break my piggie bank! Just the image of the Princeton grad walking like a crip! Oh my, oh my, where do you come up with these things?

    If Ellen doesn’t have you on her show after that, I think I may have to start a boycott, start my own show and have you on myself.

  49. AJ

    *crip walking into post*

    Am I the only one who wants to see Wentworth “crank dat soulja boy?”…..what? It’s cute when 8 year olds do it…

    *crip walking to the kitchen to make dinner*

  50. Crip Walk…

    WFW, you are such a dork! Luv ya!

  51. OK for those of you who need instruction:

    God Bless YouTube…

  52. satinfee

    *ads Cwalkin’ to set of Wentasies*
    Bless you, Nicbeast!

  53. miller_thriller

    Ahahahah i dont no what i loved more, wfws post or mama bears sub post! Seriously you girls are AMAZE!

    I loved the image of Went crip walking! Lol and im up for a universal effort! I can totally see us being the next hit on YouTube:

    They aint got nothing on us!

    Lol and just a thought, maybe dancing in prison will be our future when we all get arrested for harassment! Lol cell 40 signing in baby πŸ˜‰

  54. miller_thriller

    I really really really want to see wfw on Ellen, but i now i want to see WFW and MB have a crip walk battle!

    *Laughing to self*

  55. Well, MT, I am half-Filipino and based on the prison footage noted above, dancing appears to be in my blood. * snicker *

  56. miller_thriller

    MB you seriously crack me up! Humpty dumpty aint got shit on me!

    I would seriously pay to see you and WFW have a crip-off!

    You are too funny girl. Kudos. πŸ˜‰

  57. Erika

    I was perfecting my groove so that I can join in on the universal crip walking and followed the instructions that nicbeast linked. Decided to show my new found moves to my friend but she cracked up and asked, “What…are you auditioning for river dance or something?” *running back to check out those instructions again*

  58. kassie

    OMG, WFW! I thought at first that you had already done the taping for Ellen, your script was that good. My heart is still racing…I live in Bangkok and don’t know when we’ll get to see WM on Ellen, but I guess someone will post it on the web…can’t wait…btw, any news of SWC having her baby yet????

  59. Pup

    I love you people so much I’m crip walking.

    WFW & MB, H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!

    So fucking funny. And if you don’t get on that show, I swear to god, I’m gonna, like, kick Ellen in the nuts. Seriously. In da nhaats. Even if they’re metaphorical nhaats. And it’s gonna hurt.

    Pup on crack signing off. Love you mucho.

  60. WFW

    Awwww I love you too Puppy dog!

    Still waiting…

  61. Dani

    Just read it and it just sounds so real… maan.. we could smell it.

  62. Pingback: Wet For Went is One Year Old today! « Wet For Went

  63. Pingback: Merry Wentmas Boys and Girls « Wet For Went

  64. angie

    i cant believe it this is the place where i first spot this site it hasnt been four month yet but i feel like i know this site long time ago that a came here every day since

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