Merry Wentmas Boys and Girls

If it’s Wentmas, it must be time for a drunken song.  It’s Carol of the Wents!  COTW…Bad joke?

It’s Wentmas again
Go tell a friend
Now let us hear
about this year

It’s mania
We never sleep
Went said he weeps

A Moet cork is popped
Wentworth and a lock
The party never stops
Birth of the chatbox

We hit The Gap
Fell in Went’s lap
Went is not gay
Questions go away

Went and Beigette
to the movies get
Went is the bomb

Chest hair it speaks
Went is in D
He is so hot
I love mock cock

Merry Merry Merry Merry Wentmas
Merry Merry Merry Merry Wentmas
Went I love you
When are you due
In Baltimore
I’ll be your whore
I want your dong, I want your dong, I want your dong, I want your dong

Went comes to chat
Panties go splat
Sense out the door
We’re all big whores

Homies translate
I masturbate
Shit Damn Hell Fuck
Went didn’t show up!

We get bean poled
Really awful clothes
Went fucking cries
fangirls all die

Scarfy wears a scarf
We all wanna barf
Michael and Jack
bring sexy back

Screw NYC
Went doesn’t love me
Amaury’s lookin fine
Call me anytime

We ran amok
Went gives a fuck
He sent a pic
not of his dick

Wentdrought it sucks
Went hits Starbucks
Went is cockeyed
and buried alive

I am a Brit
Ellen is a git
German GQ Style
really makes me smile

Merry Merry Merry Merry Wentmas
Merry Merry Merry Merry Wentmas
Went makes me wet
We still haven’t met
In 2008
I hope we’ll have a date

Went got a hat
Glen wore the tat
Same old brown boots
Went chilled with Luke
Fangirls they cried
threatened suicide
Off with her head
Sara is dead

Merry Merry Merry Merry Wentmas
Merry Merry Merry Merry Wentmas
Went you’re the shit
I still wanna hit
Damn your stubborn ass
and what an ass it is


Have a lovely holiday everyone. Get really, really drunk. Happy Birthday Krissie!



Filed under Humor, Wentmas, WFW

44 responses to “Merry Wentmas Boys and Girls

  1. Kris

    Awwwww! Thank you, Love!
    You rock! Wiser people than me said so, so it must be true!
    Merry Wentmas! Love you!

  2. Kassie

    Love it WFW!! Thanks for your blog…you put the FAN in fantastic. Wishing you a very Merry Wentmas and a Wenty New Year.


  3. Van

    Merry Wentmas everyone!
    Happy Birthday Krissie! 😆

    And last but not least…Merry Wet Wentmas WFW!

  4. Happy Birthday Krissie!

    Merry Wentmas everyone!! 😀

  5. KM

    What would we do without this fun place?

    Happy Christmas everyone!

  6. Tracy

    @Krissie-Happy Birthday!!
    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all and to Went!!

  7. Juma

    Merry Wentmas people!!
    I’ll follow WFW’s advice and plan to go drunk and chillout on Christmas! 😀

    Happy Birthday Krissie!

  8. Just me...

    Hahaha… I love the song!!!!
    Happy Birthday Krissie… 😉
    And Merry Merry Merry Wentmas everyone… 😀

    PS: I hope that Went and I we’ll have a date in 2008 too!!!! 😉

  9. Great song – I think it speaks for all of us. Have a wonderful Christmas everyone and lets hope for lots of Went next year.

  10. This song is a new favorite WFW! 😉
    Merry Merry Merry Wentmas everyone!
    Here’s to stalking his ass in 2008! Good Times! 🙂

  11. angie

    merry wentmas every one
    and i hope we got the chance 2 say that every year

  12. maichan

    OMG, I’ve had this on a loop all afternoon. CANNOT.STOP.LAUGHING

  13. xandi86

    Great Job, WFW!

    I hope the new episodes in Jan. ’08 have lots of GBS.

    Merry Wentmas!

  14. Tracy

    Merry Wentmas! Cannot wait to watch new eposides of PB in Jan! Njoy your Christmas and Happy New Year!!

  15. BB

    Dear Santa

    I want Went wrapped with a bow under my tree.

    That is all.

  16. Chainjix

    Heh, WFW!
    I especially liked the part “I don’t even know wchich one is this”

    You made my day, I just found the Perfect Christmas Carol, well Wentmas Carol, as it should be called.

    Merry, merry, merry Wentmas everyone! And have a Wenty New Went Year!

    I’m going to get a drink(and eventually get drunk), and I suggest that to everyone.

  17. Erika

    LMAO!!! I actually find the song (or rather you WFW) much cuter then funny.

    Yeah Merry Christmas to all of you.

  18. ChatJemena

    W4W, everyone / Went:

    Maligayang Pasko sa inyong lahat! (Merry Christmas to all!) …or Happy Holidays to those of other denominations. You have made my first 6 months of ‘Wet for Went’ really remarkable. I love the wit, the care, the humor. Enjoy your holidays and may our 2008 be a good, juicy, Went-filled one……

    And Went, sweetie, try to have a good rest. Don’t be too upset by the paparazzi or by our need to have pics of you. We’re wentaholics because you’re that deadly combination of incandescent hawtness, courtliness, decency, and intelligence with just enough naughtiness to spice it all up. Stinky, I– *sigh*–I wish for a lot of things involving you, but I know they’re impossible, so kindly accept these two songs as my gifts: “Have Yourself a Little Merry Christmas ” and
    “I wish you bluebirds in the spring, to give your heart a song to sing, / And then a kiss, but more than this, I wish you love. // And if you like lemonade to cool you in some lazy glade, /
    I wish you health, and more than wealth, I wish you love.// My breaking heart and I agree that you and I could never be, / So with my best, my very best, I set you free. / I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm, / Most of all, when snowflakes fall, I wish you love.
    (musical interlude)

    *sorry, guys, for thelong post*
    I wish you shelter from the storm, a cozy fire to keep you warm,
    Most of all, when snowflakes fall, hot time, I wish you love.
    All kinds of love, a whole gang of love.

  19. Jen

    Seriously it would take me a month to come up with this stuff. WFW how do you do it?? Thanks for the laugh and MERRY WENTMAS!!!

  20. Snowflake

    Merry Wentmas to you all!!
    Thanks WFW!!

    Oh yes, Went wrapped with a bow under the tree…I wouldn’t say no that present!

  21. elane

    hi, so … I found this place a couple month back, and I love it. Had a lot of fun reading through your posts. I’m not much of a commenter, but I found this, and yes, i know imdb is a bad bad place to hang, but I was bored … so, anyway, thought I would share with you what I found (if you haven’t allready seen it), thought it was cute

    Tonight we decided to have a production party by Dustin, Caroline, & I walking to Starbucks in the village. So we were in Starbucks & are making our orders when I see C talking to a guy standing behind her. He was wearing a ski cap & had gorgeous eyes & a really beautiful smile & I was laughing because I thought he was a fan. Apparently she knew his mother or something & then pulls me next to her & says,”This is my assistant Laura…” with a huge grin on her face & we stood around & talked for a bit & then it was time to go because a line had formed behind us at the counter. Ahahahhahah when we walked out I mouthed,”Who was that?” & she looked at me & said,”Don’t you watch PRISON BREAK!?!?” “Um…no..but..omg!” “You need to. It’s a great show. But seriously, Wentworth is just beautiful isn’t he?”

    So what that means is that I have to start watching Prison Break because Wentworth Miller is a soft spoken, shy guy who is tall & adorable & contrary to popular belief does not speak with an English accent.

    Anyways, THAT incident made me smile simply because I had no idea I was talking to an actor & would actually never have pegged him as an actor just because his personality was so sweet.

  22. The REAL Cat's Meow!

    AWWWWWW, Wenty is the sweetest guy on the planet! That lucky girl got to meet him and didn’t even know who he was! I bet NOW she’s a fan! I noticed alot of the “lucky bitches” who get to meet him are oblivious of his existence. Meanwhile, we Wenty lovers will probably never get the opportunity to meet our angel boy. Boohoo.

    Thanks so much elane for informing us of that cute encounter!

  23. KM

    WFW’s song should be accompanied by a concerto of “mandolin” from all the girls here.
    Know what I mean?
    If not, see explanations on the Gay Debate…

  24. KM

    Didn’t Went say that he could play the “clarinet”?

  25. The REAL Cat's Meow!

    OMG!!!! Went plays the clarinet??? Me too! I played the clarinet when I was a kid!!! Boy, every week I find out a little bit more about him and I find we have alot in common! The best is that we both grew up in the same Brooklyn neighborhood. I only wish I knew him back then! I could have been his first “fangirl”!!! lol

  26. Kassie

    @ChatJemena: Yes…perfect songs for Went. I’d add “All I Want for Christmas is You”…

    @Elane: Stories like those are why I love him…don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I wish there would be a story about him being horrible, just so I could MAYBE start to get over my obsession with that perfect, pretty man!!

    @the REAL Cat’s Meow: It’s possible that KM meant something else about “playing the clarinet”…but you could play Went’s clarinet! hehehe LMAO

    @KM: Santa had better bring me a new mandolin…thanks to Went, mine’s about worn out!!!

    Merry Wentmas to all you admirers of the man who is perfection …*sigh*…

  27. Merry Wentmas everyone, thanks for this blog, WFW, I LOVE it!

  28. yesimfat

    this one is just as good as last years! I am not sure how long it will take me to stop giggling from that though..hee hee
    You rock WFW!

  29. KM

    Kassie, I don’t believe your mandolin is worn out!
    Haven’t you heard about Kegel exercices?

    Try them and you’ll be fit as a fiddle…and ready for the Big Event: The Clarinet and Mandolin Concerto, to be held at the majestic venue of Wet Beaver Creek Hall, under the direction of Wentworth Miller, accompanied by renowned mandolinists like Kassie (U.S), Anonymous (Italy) and KM (Switzerland) and a few other artists.
    The libretto is the work of the distinguished Wet For Went, a native of Wet Beaver Creek, who, in spite of her international fame, hasn’t forgotten her humble beginnings …

  30. Kassie

    @KM: LMAO, you naughty girl!! I do my Kegels, it’s the, ahem, more delicate area that has been taking a beating, so to speak… What is the date of the Big Event? Some rest would do me good, but WFW and her blogging will not allow me to forget about Wentworth long enough to heal… *sigh* will go soak my mandolin in the bath… later…

  31. Alison

    Merry Wentmas and a happy new year to you all! Oh and also merry Christmas!

    The song was hilarious! It was really brilliant. Is there anything you can’t do WFW??

    Soon I can hang my Wentworth Miller calendar 2008 up on my wall. Oh next year will be great. And I also have a PB calendar. There never can be too much of Went or Prison Break (although I love Went more, of course).

  32. The REAL Cat's Meow!

    LMFAO!!!!! OMG, I took that literally!!! I thought Went really played the clarinet!!! lol

    NOOOOO, I don’t want Went to play the “clarinet”, but I’ll be more than happy to play HIS clarinet! Imagine Went’s long, hard, black clarinet?!!! Oh boy, would I ever LOVE playing his clarinet and blowing it ALL NIGHT LONG!!!! It would be MY PLEASURE!!!!

  33. OH.MY.STARS.

    *fcukin’ late to the party as usual*

    Dude, this is comedic gold.

    “Went’s a virgin…”
    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s like saying I’m not a whore. Oh, you’re hilarious.

    And is it wrong that I heard the 12 Days of Christmas on the radio today, but as I was singing along, I found myself singing the 12 Days of Wentmas, instead? Hm…

  34. The REAL Cat's Meow!


    “Went’s a Virgin” (sung to the tune of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”)

    “Went’s a Virgin,
    Fucked for the very first time.

    Went’s a Virrrrrr-gin,
    And he comes hard at the drop of a dime!” lol

  35. noelanimahana

    Merry Xmas WFW! I so wanna bite your Carol O’ The Wents but I’ll be a good girl!

    I am officially a Wentworth groupie! Yippee Kiyay Beeyotch’s

  36. Anonymous

    His sister looks great!

  37. ChatJemena

    Kassie: thank you
    KM: that was really funny
    Real Cat’s Meow: (1) awww, don’t tire the poor boy. There are still a lot of us waiting in line…(2) Great song-breakin’!
    Anonymous (Dec. 24): don’t tease…

  38. ChatJemena

    W4W: I should have explained earlier–>The PC I use doesn’t have a working audio so I haven’t heard your song. Sorry. I will when I get back to work.

    A-Jizzle: Went’s a virgin? I do have my suspicions, but it seems hard to believe. (I did suggest in one of W4W’s September blog that he might have laid off women for a while because of his financial situation for the past 10 years.) Anyway, if he is a virgin, jeez, we’ll have a great time educating each other. (The idea does stir my kinky imagination…)

  39. BB

    BOOOOOOO my computer wouldnt download…..

  40. niknak

    I’m a tardy bird since I just got around to listening to this and reading all of the lovely “musically” inspired comments. Mandolin – LMAO!

    Brava WFW! Next year, I vote for a Wentspired version of “Santa Baby.”

  41. ChatJemena

    Yeah, niknak. A Wentspired version of “Santa Baby” (oooh, can you imagine it in W4W’s naughty voice?)–complete with dancing. Wow! (Now, if we can only get Went to dance…or get his PB friends to ask him to dance)

  42. Sweetie

    LMAO lol omg … thw song was jokes…lol ahahahahaha happy wentmas to you to

  43. shortstuff

    bahahahaha omg that was fucking hilarious, especially that middle bit where the song changed on you, lol. aw, i just got back from vacation and i so much happened while i was gone! oh how i missed you.

    merry wentmas everyone…

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